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Sports and the Media

The 2011 Jazzy Awards – the Dry, Stringy Turkey of the Year

If it’s the day after Thanksgiving, then it must be time for our annual Jazzy Awards to start the holiday season! As usual, we kick off with the Turkey of the Year, where we celebrate the ludicrous, lunatic lunkheads and lugnuts that have ruined the sports year. As always, we do this feature in conjunction with our buddy and colleague Tony Korologos of Hooked...

Fred Couples Bows to Tiger Woods, Picks him for President’s Cup Team

There’s a saying that tiny, seemingly over-matched Sam Gamgee lived by when travelling with Frodo Baggins, Gandalf, Aragorn, and the rest of the heroes that formed the Fellowship of the Ring that battled Mordor: “Your legs are too short, so use your head!” Then, of course, on one occasion when that didn’t work out well he lamented, “Sam...

Fear and Loathing and Tiger Woods on the Major Championship Trail – 2011 PGA Championship Edition

JOHNS FREAK, GA – Lunatics! Scoundrels and heathens! Upstarts, rogues, and charlatans! Drag them over carpet tacks and dip them in rubbing alcohol, the lot of ’em. May a pack of Tiger Woods’s prostitute harpies give them a disease featuring a particularly viscid eczema. Despite the best efforts of American Airlines, Delta, and two scurvy-ridden...

Quick Odds and Ends Before Leaving for the 2011 PGA Championship

A few quick bits of news and notes: 1. Mark Cannizzaro of the New York Post takes Tiger to task by analyzing his back-tracking quotes and disingenuous talking points in this article. From the piece: “The only thing more curious than Tiger Woods’ decision to have his alleged sex scandal accomplice buddy on his bag at the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational this...

Steve Williams – “Best Week of my Life” Wasn’t with Tiger Woods

Well this is interesting. We usually interview the winning caddie, but not like this. Steve Williams (and that means Tiger Woods’s behavior) overshadowed the sparkling 17-under performance of Adam Scott, a flat out dismantling of Big Bad Firestone, including a jaw-dropping 66-65 finish. The things Williams said in his interview were thinly veiled venom against...

Mistrial was a Great Outcome for the Prosecution in the Clemens Case

As someone who was in the Congressional hearing room where Roger Clemens – in my opinion – clearly and convincingly perjured himself, I can also state with certainty that, with the make-up of the jury pool in his perjury case that resulted in a mis-trial last week, that was a great result for the prosecution. Looking at some of the lugnuts that got that...

The 2011 Golf State of the Union Address

FOREST HILLS, NY – Golf is at a crossroads right now, but none of the issues it faces are as lethal as the scaremongers would have you believe. Sure rounds are down, costs are up, and American players haven’t won a major championship in six tries. Nevertheless, with a little patience, wisdom, and foresight, golf will do what it has always done best...

The “Golf State of the Union” Address

My golf State of the Union Address is up at Cybergolf. Just one thing – you’ll need this photo, tweeted by none other than Rory McIlroy himself. From the article: “As for our drought in the majors, remember I said this: an American will win in Atlanta. The PGA Championship set-up usually invites everybody to the party. You don’t have the...

Tiger Tales: Steve Williams and Rachel Uchitel – again

The self-immolation of Tiger Woods continues apace with no signs of slowing down. First, Woods announced today that he fired Steve Williams, who some in the media derided as his “bag ape” and which seemed to fit in certain instances, not the least of which was his throwing a photographer’s camera in a lake. Moreover, CBS’ Steve Elling had a...

NBC Report: Woods Dr. Galea to Enter Plea in Drug and PED Charges

Hat tip to Ryan Ballengee for catching this story about HGH Doctor Henry Galea of the “blood spinning technique” entering into a plea deal. Galea, a known commodity among PED and steroid cheats, treated Woods with mysterious knee injection treatments which PGA Tour Commissioner Timid Tim Finchem refuses to investigate. From the article: “Woods has...

Video of the WEAK! – Crane, Fowler, Mahan, Watson in “Oh Oh Oh”

People always ask me what I mean when I say “This is reedonkyulous!” Well the video below is a perfect example! This is just flat-out frightening on so many levels:P Oh well, no one can claim that golfers are too stiff anymore. Bubba Watson, Hunter Mahan, Rickie Fowler, and Ben Crane mix Halloween and April Fools Day – and set of every dork alarm in...

Moment of Silence – Seve Ballesteros, Sports Cartoonist Bill Gallo

Everyone knows we laid Seve to rest yesterday, but the sports writing world also lost a true great yesterday, Bill Gallo of the New York Daily News. We’ll have one day of radio silence to mourn them both: Seve the swashbuckler and Gallo the gallant. See you in Heaven someday. Save room in the foursome for me at Valderrama, and I’ll get you on the Shore...

Breaking News – Tiger Woods Injured Again

The red flashing light at the bottom of the ESPN screen grabbed my attention away from the game: Tiger Woods injured again. What? Did he fall out of bed and break his schlong? Probably, but that shouldn’t shelf him for golf, although after 121 women, he probably wishes he could hit the ball with his dick. According to stories, if he could do that he would have...