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Chumps, Lunkheads, Dingbats

Floyd Landis found guilty of using steroids, PGA TOUR announces anti-doping policy

Arbitrators in Floyd Landis’s (yes, that is the correct punctuation) doping case found him guilty of using steroids. They also ruled in dicta that they did NOT rely on Greg Lemond’s testimony that Landis admitted doping to him.  The hearing turned into a soap opera when Lemond said thaccused Landis’s manager of trying to influence his testimony...

Eisenhower Park Red Course bans walkers from playing golf

This Newsday article exposes how the greed of Nassau County upends the core values of golf and merely reaches for an extra $30 from players.  I will NOT be visiting Eisenhower Park until they rescind this decision and allow walkers. The article is from Newsday: EAST MEADOW, N.Y. (AP) — A Long Island woman is boycotting her favorite course. A man in...

Silly season begins! Quick, hide the slots!

So as the casino masters of TPC Utica,Turning Stone Casino   sorry, they don’t call it Casino for this week – Turning Stone Resort gleefully chirp “play where the pros play,” you too can “play slots where the pros walk by the slots!” That’s right, while the resort hides the slots during ads and TV promos, the casino in...

Video of the Week: Darby Student Prank Plays 800 Davidson Fans For Chumps

I love these harmless little zingers.  Here’s the story of the kid who duped the parents, staff, alumni of the enemy high school to spell out “We Suck” on their side of the stadium. Here’s the video he took and posted on YouTube. I can’t believe the kid got suspended.  No one got killed, no one got hurt,  no one lost one red...

Who to complain to when ESPN offends viewers – ohmbudsman Le Anne Schreiber

Thank goodness for ESPN ohmbudsman Le Anne Schreiber.  “What’s an ohmbudsman” you ask?  Back in college an ohmbudsman was the champion of the rights of the students.  When they had nowhere else to turn, he or she was their voice, their ersatz attorney, their supporter and their short-cut through beaurocratic red-tape.  It happened by...

Southern Hills Flashbacks – Annie get your guns, just not at the PGA Championship

TULSA, OK – What is it about major championships in Tulsa that brings out the heavy artillery? Hubert Green was an unlikely leader at the U.S. Open in 1977 after three rounds. The journeyman pro had won several tour events, but had yet to clinch his first major. No one knows for sure whether it was disgruntled gamblers or lawless rakehells, but shortly after he...

Madonna – world’s biggest hypocrite?

So she says she supports green earth resolutions and believes in global warming.  Too bad she invests in the worst poluters in history to already feed her over-gorged bank account.  “Let them eat cake?” eh, Esther?  Go back to trying to get laid with playboy playmates and Scores girls. Read here how Madonna grows fat off the same companies she...

Stupid Wedding Tricks Vol. 1

I was best man in my cousin’s wedding this weekend…hence light sportswriting.
Nevertheless, I came back after witnessing this gem.  Note to Father Morgan:  maybe the questionaire required of people getting married should be easier.
Father:  Can either of you tell me when your marriage is consummated in God’s eyes?
Groom:  When we cut the cake?

MIchael Vick: The failure of a media appointed savior

He was “the most dynamic and exciting player EVER!” Now he may be just another vulgar, trouble making felon. ESPN made us believe Sundays would never be the same. But Michael Vick is facing a felony rap for hideous animal abuse. From the article: “The search warrant was issued after an informant told Brinkman there were as many as 30 dogs carcasses...

Memo From the Sports Desk: Pirates of the Caribbean more like bad Superfriends Episode

So Ernesto the Security and Predictions Iguana and I wasted ten bucks on this dreck. Apologies to my buddy Jay Kogan on this, but Pirates of the Caribbean: At Wit’s end, I mean Wallet’s End, I mean World’s End was baboon dung parfait. Ever watch Superfriends when you were a kid? That’s what this is. ***WARNING…PLOT...