From Steve Czaban: this is unbelievable. Randy Random hadn’t used his grill in a while. So he got a “flea and cockroach bomb,” taped it to a rake, and slid it under the grill like a pizza in an oven.
They’re here! They’re here! (Click on “Whole Lotta Bees” when you get to Czabe’s page).
Well, it’s the day after Thanksgiving and everyone except me and a few other Turkey haters are eating leftover dry stringy bird remnants. I had porterhouse steak yesterday, (***insert Caddyshack reference***: “Oh! Porterhouse!”) as usual, and watched everyone else fall asleep due to tryptophan or whatever it’s called. So it’s time...
All you can say to this lugnut is, “get a driver’s test re-administered immediately!”
“Turn the car off!”
You’ve got to love Awful Announcing, shining a light on the dumbest things said each week in sports. This week’s Pammy Awards – named after gaffe-tastic Pam Ward, she who advised a team to spike it on fourth down – are here, but here’s my top three: 3. “Fearless. Totally fearless. The gunslinger. If you don’t get to the...
As soon as I get the decision, I’ll analyze and post, but this sounds downright asinine to me. A Westchester state court Judge ruled that Winged Foot must close their par-3 sixth hole because the house of the man who lives right of the green gets hit by too many golf balls now that the club removed three trees. On another note, I’m making soem edits to...
We interrupt this sports website for a space exploration update. As my friend Julie Zimmerman would say, “Holy Buckets!” NASA has a four alarm P.R. migraine right now, as the test shuttle for the Orion project plummeted thousands of feet during re-entry and crashed on the desert floor in Yuma, Arizona. Two out of three parachutes failed to deploy. Meat...
Her 73 yesterday was enough to “energize” her supporters into all their old self-delusions. People were claiming she was “competitive” on the PGA Tour, and that she was ready to “make history.” But after she finished today with a trunk-slammer round of 80, the key stats were these. She averaged 24.5 putts per round and she...
Calling Michelle Wie’s behavior at her Reno/Tahoe presser petulant, deluded, and ungrateful – something that many people notice at a lot of her pressers – Czaban fired off this epic rant. From the article: “Her performance at the pre-pre-tournament presser for the Reno-Tahoe Open was at best laughable. She claims to not recall saying earlier...
Thanks for the laughs guys! You know the ad slogan “These guys are good?” Well, these guys sure aren’t!
Steve Elling of CBS Sports is the leader in the clubhouse for the best article of the year with this scathing appraisal of why we all don’t need to see golf in the Olympics. Here’s some great quotes: “Ah, remember the days when sports and nations trying to curry favor with the IOC did things the old-fashioned way? “Back then, IOC members would...
Julie Zimmerman made me spit up coffee all over my desk. “How the hell do you not remember to sign your scorecard? Did mommy and daddy forget to tell her?” It’s such a hard thing to do! Especially when your in the scoring area to do just that. How many pro tournaments has she played in? Did they teach her that at Stanford? Maybe she is the...
The golf punk guys are amazing! Happy Open week, boys. Ladies and Gentlemen, we interrupt this Open Championship so I can give you, “Darth Vader plays golf.”
Here’s the article. It’s no less than he deserves. Floyd Landis, steroid cheat, has run out of courts in which to continue to harass, annoy, and spread false witness about the anti-doping establishment. From the article: “In the end, the panel saved its harshest criticism for Landis, who it said essentially tried to muddle the evidence and...
Hat tip to Kalen Braley. Hey ESPN, who said three at the south course is the “signature hole?” Shouldn’t we expect Rees, who claims the design (and Oakland Hills) as his own now – DORK ALERT! – shouldn’t we expect Rees to claim all 18 holes as signature holes?
I’m normally not into schadenfreude, but in his case, I’ll make an exception. Isiah, PLEASE let the door hit you on your worthless bee-hind on the way out the door.