We interrupt this sports website for a public service announcement. Most of you have met Ernesto.Â
Ernesto is our Prediction Iguana. Ernesto correctly picked Padraig Harrington to win two straight Open Championships, (well done, Ernesto!), and had Italy in the 2006 World Cup.
Ernesto also works security around here, along with other odd jobs. Ernesto said to give you a message: he loves Facebook as much as the rest of you, and so do I. There’s no better solid-gold time investment than reconnecting with some long lost friend, learning anything about computers from Ian Clarke, talking about the Internet with Fred Von Lohmann, checking out Britt’s latest round of pictures of the cherry blossoms, listening to Sherry St. John or Reid Genauer, or Strangefolk or BFS or Ominous Seapods, sighing breathlessly at a picture of [insert name of love interest], seeing where the next great band I rep is touring, or reading interesting blog posts from the various AWITP bureaus around the globe, yada, yada, yada…
HOWEVER, both he and I get a four-alarm migraine sorting through some of the vapid, vacuous, head-banging gibberish posted by greasy, nerve-rattling, matted-haired geeks with string warts. As an result, might Ernesto have the temerity to offer a suggestion…here’s the Top Ten Things to NOT bother your friends with on Facebook. ( These are all actual recent entries that are 99 and 44/100% real!)
“So and so is…
10. Running errands…
9. Taking a benedryl…
8. Listing her five favorite flowers…
7. Taking the quiz “Which Doctor Who are you?” (sorry to my buddy, but that set off every dork alarm for three states:)
6. Waiting to get picked up…
5. Changing the battery on the Blackberry…
4. Hoping to get motivated to get off the couch…
3. Off to work…
2. Wondering whether to watch “Law and Order – Parking Tickets Unit”…
and the number one thing NOT to tell us your doing…
1. Facebooking while driving!
It’s things like this that make Twitter suck so bad…anyway, Ernesto suggests that in order to not give he and I the shingles, if you don’t have something remotely interesting to say, put down the Facebook App and slowly back away. It’s every bit as bad as drunk dialing:) If you don’t like Ernesto’s opinion, by all means let him know. All complaints by phone will enter a new automated system with pre-recorded replies. All calls and messages will be returned by Ernesto between the hours of 2:00 and 5:00 AM. In all other cases I have given The Iguana license to bite – hard and often. He moves like a cat and has the jaws of a yeast-infected pit bull, so don’t get on his bad side. You wouldn’t like The Iguana when he’s mad.
Rant over, as you were.
[…] and people prove they still have not learned that not every thought is worthy of public expression. Ernesto the Prediction Iguana and I had this epic rant last time, and between many people responding that “thank God someone said something,” and […]
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