What’s the difference between at Titleist golf ball and a Cadillac Escalade?
Tiger Woods can drive the Titleist 300 yards.
Whaddya know? The rest of the world finally got to where I was two accidents ago. Tiger Woods is a dangerous, pain killer-addled menace potentially any time he gets behind the wheel. Oh the stories that are coming out from recent events! It’s almost a meme, “I just nearly got killed by Tiger Woods! And not on the golf course!”
Everyone from Stephen A. Smith and friggin’ Megyn Kelly are coming out and recommending rehab for Woods. He was blurry-eyed and slurring. He failed road sobriety tests though he blew 0.00. And the police found two pills in his pocket.
When asked about them, Eldrick said, “Oh those are narcos…”
For certain they tested them back at the station and knew in two seconds exactly what they were. Good luck finding out precisely what, though. Those local police have an omerta code too: protect the rich and famous.
Still, finally, after all these years and scandals, finally the general public and the media are sick of Woods’s careless, dangerous acts. He could kill someone on the road, perhaps himself or Heaven forbid innocent others.His egotistical excuse of needing “privacy” fails in toto as any sort of counterweight. Tiger can afford a driver.
He also needs relief from the meds he’s taking. Seven back surgeries and 20 on his legs. That’s the stuff of nightmares. But while we can have pity for him, we can;t ave pity on him, not when innocent third-party lives are clearly at stake.
And I’m not buying any of this “foreign rehab” BS it appears he’s getting away with. Sorry, Tiger, you’re getting old now, and should be trying to get into Heaven. That means more transparency, not less.
So good on everyone for finally arriving at what needed to be done. Better late than never. But with the announcement that he’s going abroad for privacy,that’s an invitation to misbehave. And worse still,m more than one pundit who has been though multiple rehabs have been screaming: “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EASY IT IS TO GET DRUGS ABROAD IN REHAB??!!”
NO, actually. I have no idea. But if the bile and vitriol with which they are shouting it means anything, this might not improve…at least not this time. Meanwhile his private plane just landed in Zurich, Switzerland. From reports:
“It is unconfirmed if Woods was on the plane, but it is known that he owns the aircraft. It is further known that Zurich is home to two of the top treatment centers — Paracelsus Recovery and Kusnacht Practice — that many athletes and celebrities choose for treatment far from prying eyes. Private jet trackers report that the aircraft was headed back to the U.S. on Friday afternoon.”
“I know and understand the seriousness of the situation I find myself in today,” Woods said in an announcement on Tuesday. “I am stepping away for a period of time to seek treatment and focus on my health. This is necessary in order for me to prioritize my well-being and work toward lasting recovery.”
I have faith in Tiger’s grit and determination to beat this, but only when it appears he’s really ready to take this seriously. Once he does, does anyone doubt that his game will improve too? Maybe not “win more majors” ready, but it’ll be great to see him play the with the rest of the roundbellies at Senior Opens and Senior PGAs. Perhps it’s time for the Donald to weigh in…or Vanessa. Blowing it with someone with the last name Trump? Bad idea, Tiger…
Oh well, at least we didn’t get it as bad as last time. Remember?
Cop: “I want you to say the alphabet backwards. You understand?”
Tiger: “Yes. Sing the National Anthem backwards…”
