BETHPAGE, NY – In a hostile rink and with the enemy fans lathered to a frenzy by a stunning late surge, Western Mass Destruction’s star jammer and co-captain, Caroline “Clam Jammer” Voyles, scored a late triple grand slam on a power jam to rally WMD past the Long Island Roller Rebels 120-105.
Leading nearly the entire bout and dominating most of the second half, WMD surrendered a 26 point lead in four lightning-quick jams, and a 96-70 advantage became a 105-100 deficit, before Clam Jammer’s second-to-last jam heroics turned the tables one last time. She led WMDs offensive attack with 47 points and a sparkling +33 plus/minus ratio. She was named the bout’s most outstanding player by the assembled media. WMD is 1-0 on the young season. Carolyn “C-Roll” Kunkel led the Roller Rebels with a dominating 60 points and +32 plus/minus ratio. The loss dropped Long Island to 0-2.
“Few things in sports match the thrill of the team captain leading a spirited charge to rescue a game in the waning seconds,” said derby fan and photo-journalist Elmo Vada. “Clam was clutch. She put the bout on her shoulders and came through. That was leadership.”
“That’s what captains do, and that’s why she’s our captain,” agreed Mary Frances Griffith – “Bloodbath and Beyond” to her derby mates. “She’s a great jammer because she can find the holes and fly right through. Plus she epitomizes our whole team attitude of teamwork and hustle.”
Knowing that a jammer is only as good as the skaters who open the seams for her, Clam Jammer was quick to praise her blockers. “Our power jam A-line came through when we needed them most. They overcame a really good, really tough Long Island team. Big Vinny’s Kid, (Renee Forzano), Gnome Ercy, (Aleks Kajstura), and Chickadee Struction, (Kacey Breault), not only held their jammers back all bout, but opened holes for me at the end so I could get free. Most importantly, they hit hard, but clean when we needed it most, because we had too many penalties tonight.”
Indeed, power plays – called “power jams” in the vernacular – told the story of the ebb and flow of the game, and penalties nearly sank WMD. Before Clam Jammer’s triple in the second-to-last jam, Western Mass Destruction was outscored 28-5 on power jams.
Still, they had command of the bout throughout the second half – so much so that at the 6:00 mark, holding the 26-point lead, Long Island bout announcers seemed to concede the match to the team from Pioneer Valley.
“We may not win, but the Rebels showed great improvement. I’m proud of our girls,” said one announcer.
“We have a lot of good things to build on,” agreed the second. Even the crowd seemed to agree, acknowledging the observation with a round of applause for their home-town gals.
But bouts last 60 minutes, not 54, and three power jams for the Roller Rebels allowed C-roll and Celtic Thunder, (Kat Mehr), to tally 27 unanswered points en route to a 31-4 run that put the Long Island up 105-100 with just over two minutes to play. It was their first lead since 21-16 in the first half.
Suddenly the Rebels had all the momentum, and the crowd was louder than a La Guardia runway at rush hour.
Western Mass had every reason to fold up like a gunmetal-grey chair and give up, but they didn’t. Bouts last 60 minutes, not 58, and one last power jam – this time in their favor – tipped the balance back for the shocking final reversal.
“Our best blocker, Violent Knocker, got ejected for her fifth minor in the second half, and we started the jam with two skaters in the box,” explained Celtic Thunder, who was jamming for the Rebels during the game’s defining jam. “Their blockers did a great job of holding me back, and their jammer fed off the momentum for the triple.” Up 115-105 with only seconds left, WMD won lead jammer on the last jam and ran out the clock.
Though they took too many penalties, WMDs hard-hitting defense was also a key to their victory. Going into a bout with the Roller Rebels, you know C-roll, an Olympic caliber mountain boarder and a gifted skater, is going to get her points. Sure enough, C-roll scorched WMD for 60.
But Western Mass swarmed all over the Rebels’ other jammers, manhandling them on the track and on the scoresheet. Combined, Long Island’s other jammers scored only 45 points while surrendering 87 for a -42 plus/minus ratio. Using only three jammers, as the Rebels did, can be risky as a team may fall victim to fatigue, or an opponent may spot and exploit tendencies or mis-matches. Perhaps a deeper jammer rotation would help the Rebels. Even if the injury bug doesn’t bite them, as the season rolls on and the pounding increases, they’ll need fresh legs for a late season push.
More importantly, one wise derby expert once opined that clean, tough hits are the secret of derby. To that end, both teams are going to have to work on staying out of the penalty box in order to win.
Still, both teams are strong, and I foresee this becoming a terrific rivalry. Once the Rebels get more balance in their scoring attack, they’ll blow out the circuits on the scoreboards with their high-octane offense. Although they are 0-2 on the young season, Long Island’s two losses are by six points combined. They lost to Jersey Shore by two on the last jam of their opening bout.
Western Mass Destruction is well balanced and disciplined. Their new players must acclimate quickly as they had some costly breakdowns late, but the veterans can grind you down slowly or hammer you in a flurry. Their smart, workman-like focus and precision fits their whole military motif. Including last season’s results, the team is 6-1 in its last seven bouts.
Best of all, the DIY, grassroots ethos of inclusion and sisterhood unites women of all walks of life, all shapes and sizes and ages. “We beat the crap out of each other for 60 minutes, then shake hands, drink, and dance,” laughed colorful WMD blocker Susanna Apgar…a.k.a. Beast Infection.
[Author’s Note: “Beast Infection??!! Clam Jammer??!!” my editor asked incredulously. “Those make the All-name team with Shockratease, Elle Yeah, Jessica Undressica, and Ada Wang…”“Uh…don’t forget Dr. Spankenstein,” I add mischievously.
“Oh yes, of course. How silly of me,” he sighs resignedly. Hey, it’s derby…
]Words by Jay Flemma (Jayvor-flav)
Pix by Bruce Moulton (Rod-zilla)
NEWS, NOTES, AND QUOTES
Following derby custom, each team gives out an MVP award to a member of the opposing team. WMD selected C-roll, while Long Island selected blocker Chickadee Struction.
In the marquee match-up, when jamming against each other head-to-head, Clam Jammer actually outscored C-roll 22-14.
Clam Jammer scored at least four points on every single jam of the bout except one, (and on that one she scored two). She also scored 20 points on power jams. C-roll scored 19 power jam points.
Western Mass Destruction’s team cheer and rallying cry is, “Eat, Skate, Fornicate!”
Western Mass wore black boy beaters with drab-olive “WMD” and a hand grenade emblazoned across the chest, red skirts and black stockings. Their names and numbers across the back were stenciled in red. The Roller Rebels wore pink sleeveless basketball-style jerseys with black side piping with black “Long Island Roller Rebels” stenciled across chest, black skirts or shorts, and pink and black-striped roller socks.
The Long Island Roller Rebels are Women’s Fast Track Derby sanctioned. WMD is not, as they have a men’s squad in their league, Pioneer Valley.
FLASH QUOTES OF THE DAY
Marcy “Whiskey Lullaby” Langston – “Derby hooks you right in, I fell in love with it. The athleticism got me. What keeps me is the sisterhood. Roller derby is a lifestyle.”
From the men’s undercard, New York Shock Exchange’s Vader to The Dirty Dozen’s Davy Jones, “I’ll try to hit ya, but I’ll never try to hurt ya.” After a bone-jarring collision – which almost sent Davy Jones to his locker – the two shook hands and hit the after party.
UNDERCARD
Dirty Dozen (W. Mass) 83
New York Shock Exchange 134
The Shock Exchange have never been defeated in their history, (13-0). They are 7-0 against the Dirty Dozen. NYSE trailed at the half for the first time in their history, 46-45.
MVP Rinkworm (James Stanton) scored 55 points.
