• Menu
  • Menu

Barry Bonds Steroids, Perjury Trial Opens Today

The bang of the judge’s gavel in Barry Bonds’s steroids/PED/perjury will hopefully be the first carronade salvo against steroid/PED cheats in sports. Roger Clemens, stand up and take notice: that is if you can somehow overcome the psychological damage the drugs did to your brain.

Meanwhile Timid Tim Finchem, the incredible shrinking PGA Tour Commissioner, is concerned only with the last dollar on the table and sweeping any scandals to stars under the rug, will continue to ignore the hard evidence of Tiger Woods’s drug-fueled chase of jack Nicklaus’s major championship record, which looks more like baseballs false home run record chase every day. Tim Finchem: meet your partner in grime – Bud Selig. See no evil, hear no evil and, especially, say no evil…unless it’s some fringe player no one ever heard of, then use him as a scapegoat and fig-leaf-of-credibility exhibit that your “doing something” and that :”the system works.”

The NY Daily News Investigative Team of Christian Red, Nate Vinton, and others are covering the trial wall-to-wall.

As an entertainment and sports lawyer, I will make a prediction: Bonds has one chance to win this case – confuse the jury or pray they are star-struck. The prosecution will seek to sit 12 Prussian bankers, the defense to sit 12 loudmouth, lunkhead college baseball players who love ESPN, chicken wings, and Internet porn. Update: Boy can I call ’em! Look at this fool who got himself out of jury duty: “Judge Illston just excused Juror No. 22, who wrote the following response when asked on the questionnaire about his opinion of Bonds. Juror No. 22 is a 35-year-old male from Napa who works at Target.

“I’m a Barry Bonds and I’m a huge S.F. Giants fan. It’s my life. I don’t know if I could judge Mr. Bonds after providing me with so much entertainment. It’s an intimate relationship.”

What a world. If that’s your idea of an intimate relationship, you spend too much time in the dark in front of the computer in your underwear surrounded by empty Pringles cans.

Meanwhile, let’s have a rousing round of applause for a true hero, Jeff Novitzky, the fearless G-man who is the sports world’s answer to Elliott Ness, and who brought the cheaters and pushers to justice. Why is this an important fight? So parents don’t have to bury their kids like the poor Hooten family in New Jersey. Meanwhile, the chart above lists just a few of the serious health problems that conclusively result from PED use.