Ari Fleischer might have realized the job is impossible: all the kings horses and all the kings men won’t be able to put the facade that was Tiger Woods together again. That’s a good guess as to why he’s already gone from Team Tiger: he put a plan in place and now implementing it is up to Steiny, but don’t look for a happy ending to that story.
Oops…poor word choice, Jay. Rephrase, counselor?
Nevertheless, there is no plan that can rehabilitate the future: the countless revelations we’ll have going forward, the sordid tales from Loradana Jolie, Grubbs the Tool Academy graduate, the odious Jamie Jungers, and porn star Joslyn James, who seems hell-bent on extracting another pound of flesh.
Hmmm…bad choice of words there too.
But Kelly and Tom both hit on an important point: now that Tiger is a dirty punch loin…errr…punch line, he’ll never be a squeaky clean pitch man again. The sponsor who picks him will be a joke too! Just like EA Sports and Nike are right now. (How funny was Cartman? “Dude! Here come the cops! We gotta lie to them. hit “x” to lie!”)
We see right through everything – (and thank goodness CBS did too…”restrictions?” their actions seemed to ask, “You keep ’em Steiny. You’re property is not as valuable as it once was.”)
They better get used to it. John Paul Newport/the WSJ didn’t buy it. “Mr. Woods refused to give new details about the night of his accident, the issues he and his wife Elin are working on, or the exact nature of the therapy he is undergoing. He said those matters were “private.” The tightly controlled format of the interviews—Mr. Woods’s camp limited each network to five minutes, plus a little spillover—prevented either interrogator from diving deep.”
Yahoo! Sports was equally unimpressed: “The way Tiger has handled everything since the car crash on Thanksgiving and all the news that has leaked has been one thing: an absolute joke….If Tiger has proved one thing over these past few months, it’s this — he gets how to draw a 4-iron to a back left pin, and how to drop in a clutch 18-footer to force a playoff but he sure as hell doesn’t get how to talk to people and be sincere.
He didn’t do that in his marriage, and still hasn’t done that to the rest of us.”
That is exactly what he does need to do to be respected again as a candidate as a pitch man for something other than condoms, gentleman’s clubs, and gambling sites.
Mike Lupica of the Daily News again skewers with laser-like precision and a great title, “Tiger tees off with baloney”: “After everything, people are still letting him make the rules, even though last month he told us he thought the rules didn’t apply to him. Fat chance. Really, what we got Sunday from Woods was more scripted soul-searching. This is how sports agents and crisis managers imagine speaking from the heart, but only in the abstract. It is somewhat the same way when they imagine sincerity. They think we’re all as easy as the other women in Woods’ (former) life.”
And don’t forget Tim Finchem. He’s as easy as the cocktail waitresses, TV wannabees, and hookers when money and Woods are at issue. Anyway, here’s the money shot…oops! Bad word choice again. Quick! Someone say Tiger’s “trigger word!”
“Why could he tell them how long and when they could air it? Because the new Tiger Woods has at least some of the arrogance of the old one, despite the Buddhist bracelet he showed off to Ms. Tilghman.”
That sums up the issue concisely. In the Daily News poll by the way, 61% said “the more he talks, the less we listen.” Sponsors, are you listening? Only 10% – the simpering PR dingbats of the world – agreed that he’s contrite.
The U.K. never liked Tiger as much as the fawning US TV press: “Inevitably the time constraints meant there was no opportunity to ask Woods about his involvement with the Canadian doctor Anthony Galea, who is now facing charges of importing illegal drugs.”
That should have been asked. That’s more important than the “What would Buddha do?” bracelet.
Even Sal Johnson got into the act, and had a scoop no one else did:
“In the surprised interviews that Kelly Tilghman of Golf Channel and Tom Rinaldi of ESPN did, they both did a great job with very little to work with, five minutes is a complete joke. Tilghman seemed to get the best questions and answers out of Woods but frankly I came away from both interviews not learning anything new. In a way it’s what Woods has done his whole career, being a sound bite for the local 11 pm news.”
Suprised interview?! I guess so, because everyone was surprised when they happened:):) Anyway, Sal continues:
“In the total of ten minutes or so of Q&A, you seemed sincere and humbled but frankly Tiger we aren’t buying this crap any more. Your being as sneaky in this form of telling us of about you’re scandal as you were in the numerous affairs that you had with over a dozen woman. I can understand your concern with some of the questions and honestly can understand your answer of this being you’re business but this manner of just five minutes was not even close enough. I can only hope that the rumors are true that in two weeks on Easter Sunday your going to be on 60 minutes, in a form and with people that will ask the kind of questions that your fans really want to know.”
Sal continues by lambasting Woods about every open question. Great job. I also see he’s starting to improve with the technical quality of his posts…thanks to the Strunk and White: The Elements of Style that I bought for him. Sure, there are a few mistakes here and there, but Rome wasn’t built in a day, Sal no longer reads like he types with his face, and his analysis is as sharp, biting, and informed as ever.Sal is smart and gifted stats guy. As for his writing, we’re not transforming our great James Joyce of a golf writer:):), we’re just spit-shining him a little.
He also broke this nugget: “I can only hope that the rumors are true that in two weeks on Easter Sunday your going to be on 60 minutes, in a form and with people that will ask the kind of questions that your fans really want to know.”
Like I said…work in progress, but he’s got the scoop: game, set, match, Sal Johnson.
So as for the still-tepid response from the world, the response that still thinks Woods is a phony who is hiding something, Tiger should just throw his bad looks away at a mirror. Hey Tiger: much like with your transgressions…maybe it’s you.
Kudos to CBS for turning him down. Nice job by Steph Wei on her coverage.
