“Don’t you know who Tiger Woods’s image is?! Well Phillip Maddocks does, and he has the Onion-esque interview with Tiger’s image.
Tiger Woods’ image, under siege for the last month, took the unprecedented step of urging the public and high-paying business clients to stop confusing its ethically and athletically pure marketing persona with the now sullied character of the real-life Tiger.
Mr. Woods’ image said it is unfair that its impeccable reputation is suddenly being tarnished by the actions of the real life Mr. Woods and said it was at a loss to explain what it termed the “shortsighted and grossly inequitable actions” of companies such as Accenture, which ended its sponsorship deal last week and replaced Mr. Woods’ image on the company home page with that of an anonymous skier.
“Some of the biggest names in advertising and sports marketing have spent more than a decade praising, worshiping, and paying for my larger-than-life image that has appeared in commercials and on billboards around the world,” said Mr. Woods’ image on Wednesday, speaking during a layover at Dulles International Airport outside Washington, D.C. “People need to remember that this image is bigger than the game of golf, bigger than Tiger, even. So how is it reasonable that this image — which never ran over a hydrant in Windermere, Fla., was never unfaithful to Elin, and never declined to speak to the Florida Highway Patrol about a crash — is now being made to shoulder the blame for Tiger’s transgressions?”
I’ll bet you a dollar to a donut that suckbutt-in-chief Dan Hicks is nodding somewhere, trying to find out how he get in on the action…
