I’m hearing the rumblings already: Woods is going to try to brazen it out when he returns. He’ll give a quick mea culpa, claim he went to unspecified rehab, and then try to act like nothing happened, cloaking himself in piety and offense that we won’t forgive him freely.
Woods owes the Tour an additional debt, and a rather large one: because of him, now the tabs are following tour players like crazy. Once they heard the salacious rumors, they swarmed like locusts. If the locker room wasn’t furious with him for 1) making them all bit players in his Jack record chase and 2) raising the price for swearing 1000% (from $500 to $5,000 per incident), the constant presence of people trying to dig up dirt is going to burn like a proprietary torch over the tour few a long time.
Here’s some of what Elling had to say:
“It’s only natural that we’re looking ahead to when Woods plays his next competitive round, but we have 18 holes of our own that he first needs to navigate. There are gaps that need to be filled, credibility chasms that should be bridged. Some of these holes are deeper than the Marianas Trench.
In a recent interview with Golf Digest, Woods claimed he never reads stories about himself and usually mutes the volume on golf broadcasts. Frankly, that needs to change, right along with his attitude and his behavior, if he expects to rehabilitate his career, which makes last season’s blown ACL and bone fractures in his left leg seem like outpatient surgery.
Woods needs to get a read on what people are saying, not to mention start offering up answers and making amends.”
For those of you scoring at home, the Marianas Trench – in the Pacific Ocean between Japan and Papua New Guinea – is the deepest part of the ocean in the world and, according to literature, is the place where Moby Dick killed Ahab and sank the Pequod. Hey Ismael! Can I call you annoying?!
Elling continues with some required queswtions before we let Woods begin the road to recovery:
“In perhaps the most hurtful revelation of all, why did Woods choose to associate himself with a Canadian doctor who has been linked to HGH and the use of other banned or performance-enhancing drugs? Nobody in the states could have performed the same legal, platelet-spinning procedure?….
….Dalliances with a coffee-house waitress, in your SUV, in a church parking lot, two miles from your house, apparently in broad daylight? What, your other indescribably risky off-course activities, like parachuting, bungee-jumping and scuba swimming with sharks, didn’t offer enough of an adrenaline rush?….
….What rationale can Woods offer if he declines to bench his management and support staff? The public generally believes that some of his managers, sycophants and employees had knowledge of what was happening. They have all been painted by the same brush, blameless or not.”
Finally, Elling nails down what every golf writer and fan should require:
“Clearly, in order to win back many fans, Woods’ suspicious, haughty and pious demeanor must undergo a complete enema. His rudeness will no longer be forgiven and his sanctimony will no longer be sanctioned. Forget the media — how does he rebuild his burned bridge to the fans he so often has ignored? Humility beats hubris 9 & 8….how will Woods possibly rehab his character? Without a complete philosophical overhaul, his facade will be as fake as the con job he foisted on us already. His moral compass clearly points south, double-entendre intended. Woods is spectacularly flawed, and he knows that we know it. This Tiger needs to change his inner stripes, too, which might be the toughest part of all.”
One more thing: we need to be just as medieval on Tim Finchem, who is just as disingenuous if not more, especially on the issue of Steroids and PEDs. If he doesn’t start to be more transparent and proactive, those claiming he is either turning a blind eye to (or profiteering) off a potentially drug-fueled record chase will gain more traction with the public than they already have.
