Is this the worst World Cup in decades? Possibly. FIFA, scandalized by match fixing allegations, opens the tournament with more of the same. Home team Brazil gets a phantom penalty; Croatia gets bounced as a result. Then one of the tournament’s premier players, Luis Suarez of Uruguay mistakes an Georgio Chelliini for a pepperoni pizza. Uruguay advances after scoring on an Italian team playing with only ten men. How is that fair? Finally, Spain gets unceremoniously bounced along with England and Portugal. (Gotta keep those Western Hemisphere fans happy! Hello Costa Rica!) Case in point here in the knockout stage:
Bracket 1 – Brazil v. Chile, Columbia v. Transylvania…err…Uruguay
Four South American teams in one bracket? Oh no, nothing to see here, move along. Brazil got the break of the first round (along with Greece) on a cheap penalty kick goals. It’ll be more of the same against Chile. This is the best Chilean side in 25 years, and Brazil is down defensively, but FIFA can’t allow the home team Samba Kings to get bounced too early. Chile beats Brazil all day, the refs beat Chile. Who’s gonna do anything about it? You?
Then Brazil steamrolls Uruguay or an overmatched Columbia. You want some more biting commentary? News that has teeth? Chew on this: Uruguay is going nowhere without Count Chompula.
Winner: Brazil. They’ll face the winner of:
Bracket 2 – France v. Nigeria, Germany v. Algeria
France had an easy time with the patsies in their group, but Germany is the class of this bracket by far.
Winner: Germany over France
On the other side of the draw:
Bracket 3 – Netherlands v. Mexico, Costa Rica v. Greece.
This is smooth sailing for the Netherlands, a penalty kick of a bracket. Mexico can’t keep pace. They’ll be lucky to keep it to 2-0. Costa Rica and Greece are just happy to be here and are window dressing to the Dutch coronation. If Holland fails to advance, they better not go home for a while. It will be a great opportunity lost.
Winner: Netherlands 2-0 over Mexico, and 3-1 over Costa Rica. They’ll face the winner of:
Bracket Four – Argentina v. Switzerland, Belgium v. USA
I told you the U.S. was going to advance. Now hear this: they are going to the semi-finals.
I have two words for you: Belgium Schmelgium! Who have they got? A team of bit players. We are every bit as talented as they are. Belgium, I love your lambic beer, your links golf, and you’re steak au poivre. I hate your soccer team. You’re going down.
Meanwhile, all this talk about how great the Swiss defense is – how come they never get far in tournaments? They were flat out exposed by France. Argentina has too much talent for the Swiss.
Then the USA beats Argentina on penalty kicks. We shut down Messi like we shut down Ronaldo. The #miracleongrass continues.
Winner: USA
Going forward, Brazil defeats Netherlands in the final. Once again, the Dutch win a lot of games, but not a lot of tournaments. They are better than this Brazilian team…but they won’t win.
Looking back, ten teams that I picked got through to the group stage. Pretty good, especially considering nobody had Costa Rica going through and no one had Spain not going through, (except Costa RicansïŠ).
