Elsie McLean, world’s oldest hole in one

She’s 102 years old and still plays! Do you need any more proof golf is meant to be the most egalitarian game in the world?

Nothing tricky here; just your typical, run of the mill, “play a 100 yard par-3 with a driver and watch it roll in the cup like Mr. and Mrs Havekamp from Caddyshack” shot, that’s all. Cue the audio track: “That’s a peach, hun! Oh, golly, I’m hot today!”

Jim Rome is right. Good for you Elsie, but you just gave me a migraine. I’ve played this game all my life and, while I have three eagles, I still dont have that elusive ace. Do I really have to wait until I’m with a walker and support hose to get my hole in one? Is my hole in one destined to be some lucky “roll it in with a driver from the senior tees” wormburner on a 100 yard hole when I’m an octogenarian? Will I spend the prime of my golf career in the vain search only to be in Depends and eating mild Farina when it finally comes? Because if it is, tell me now and I’ll gladly trade it in for five birdies in a row in my prime to shoot 71 or 2-under something.

Come on, Golf Gods, that’s a cruel joke to play on an elderly person. Here they go, acting all nice: baking cookies, organizing church socials and bingo games and treating everyone nicely so they can get into Heaven, and you go and stick it in and twist. Thanks for throwing her the bone…too bad she has to try to gnaw it with dentures!