Well golf certainly had a What-the-hell? Weekend! Tin-foil hat stuff meets the PGA Tour.
First there was Robert Allenby who is mysteriously sporting facial cuts and bruises after some sort of attack in Hawaii. Allenby missed the cut in the SONY Open and went out to a wine bar for dinner and drinks with his caddie and his friends.
The rest of the story is Twilight Zone stuff. Allenby claims to have been slipped a Mickey and abducted…in the trunk of a car no less. It’s clear he lost all his pocket money and his watch.
However his “witnesses” tell different stories. Nobody else seems to have seen him get beat up, thrown from a car trunk, or anything else. One witness said that Allenby “negotiated” having some goons not follow he and someone else around.
This sounds like a scene out of Rounders or something! What? did Allenby pull a Worm (a.k.a. Les Murphy, a.k.a. Edward Norton) and run into Gramma at the wrong time? :):) Weirdsville!
Then if that wasn’t enough Tiger Woods is missing the most suspicious tooth in his mouth – the dead one, the one directly front and center. The one Elin never hit with a golf club or a cell phone or anything else for that matter!
Woods tells a story almost as zany as Allenby’s: someone, we don’t know who smashed Woods’s face with a camera and knocked the tooth out, but didn’t leave any other mark on Eldrick’s face – no bruise, no cut, no swelling.
Dude, sign that guy up for a career as an orthodontist. That hit must have been perfect!
okay, then why has no one identified the guy? I mean Team Tiger must be mad as hell that some klutz mangled the face of their gravy train. Surely he’d be string up by his entrails by now! What happened?
Remember, this is the same Tiger that explained to us that Elin was just holding that golf club and smashing Escalade windows to get Tiger out of the Thanksgiving Day wreck. It was heroism and rescue he told us!
Well maybe we should have sent Elin and the golf club in to save Allenby…
In both instances: Hello, Dog? Here’s a nice juicy bone. Go to town!