Like father, like daughter. Parody is an effective weapon. Dan Jenkins’s daughter Sally has this hilarious read: You want answers? How bout a new golf shirt instead?
From the piece:
“Nevertheless, I understand the relentless curiosity about me, given my sacrosanct greatness and all I do for the good of humanity, and so I have decided to release a statement, on the advice of my agent, media consultant, personal blogger, sponsor liaison and attorneys. But rather than give this statement to the authorities, who somehow think they have real authority over me, I have decided to post it on my Web site, where the little men with badges can also find news, biographical info, statistics, audio and video clips, photos, and signature merchandise such as $75 drop needle polo shirts and washable wool sweater vests, as well as framed art, naturally of me.
Posting this statement is a grand concession, given my unique status, which let’s face it amounts to almost a kind of separate state power. That’s how different I am from the common people.”
Ouch…we are watching twelve lashes in the public square. Pull back the cat o’ nine tails again, and…
“The fact that I have pocketed $1 billion for being a public figure, in prize checks, appearance fees and commercial endorsements, does not mean anyone, especially the police and the media, can ask perfectly reasonable questions that I have no intention of ever answering, since such disclosures would apparently reveal I am not entirely who I appear to be.
Let me pause to express my disapproval of the vicious rumor-mongers who continue to spread untruths, when no actual truth is being offered by me as an alternative. I don’t see why people won’t just accept my evasions at their word.”
Finally, some transparency at last:):) Whack-ish! And…
“Cops — they’re just like photographers. People need to understand that I’m entitled to privacy at all times. Privacy is a commodity I own exclusively, and it’s mine to give up only under the right circumstances, in exchange for seven-figure checks….Of course, we’re not talking about the same police officers who provide security to keep those hounding autograph-seekers away. Or the photographers who spread images of me as a family man with my newborns and dogs.”
Now she has me curious as to what Dan’s opinion is on all this…
