There’s a great old insult I like to use: “Well they say genius skips a generation, so your kids should be brilliant.” It’s not true in the Jenkins family though. Sally, already red-hot after her hilarious parodic send-up of a Tiger press release, now pulls out a 9-iron and give Tiger a shot in the chops almost as hard as Elin did. From the article:
“The question that really matters, the pressing one, is this: When will Woods become a man? “Let’s please give the kid a break,” said Mark Steinberg, Woods’s agent, recently. Now, Steinberg is a nice guy who obviously cares about Woods. But his client is about to turn 34 years old.
There is a pattern to the comments coming from Woods’s friends. It’s a pattern of excuse-making and denial, a continual reinforcing of the idea that he has a princely exemption from ordinary obligations, such as, say, growing up. Or honoring his vows while his wife is pregnant. Or answering questions about car accidents, and about why he sought treatment from a doctor who uses HGH.”
Hey! Wait a minute! I thought Tim Finchem said he wasn’t concerned about HGH and Dr. Galea? “Move along! These aren’t the ‘roids you’re looking for!” Then she takes another string shot:
“Looking back over the last few years, it’s easy to see how Woods arrived at this point. He has never dealt particularly straightforwardly with his failings. The first sign of trouble was that infamous article in GQ in 1997 by Charles Pierce, a portrait of a chilly, entitled prince who complained about photo sessions and uttered a stream of vulgarities. Instead of confessing to tastelessness and bad judgment, Woods issued one of those calibrated formal statements that deflected responsibility. It wasn’t his fault; it was Pierce’s fault for quoting him.
“It’s no secret that I’m 21 years old and that I’m naive about the motives of certain ambitious writers,” he said then.
The Woods who has emerged in the past few weeks, in surreptitious texts and tightly worded statements, doesn’t seem to have matured much since. He seems to have simply graduated from lewd jokes to lewd behavior.”
Woods may be the game’s greatest player, but golf’s greatest champions are Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus. The only thing I don’t agree with is when she says Tiger should ditch the enablers, but isn’t Tiger really his own worst enabler? Tiger has all the money, he tells everyone what he wants to do, and he doesn’t want to hear anything. His team just does what he tells them to do so they can keep their jobs. Who is going to say anything to Woods? He’ll just fire them and he’ll have another guy next to him in two minutes who looks just like them.
Meanwhile, even Disney got into the act. Their wisecracking genie from Aladdin takes this ad lib swipe, (about the 1:14 mark).
“I can’t bring back the dead…but if you have an iPhone, there’s an app for that.”
