This week two different Jezebels that Tiger Woods unwisely let get too close have been passing out their tabloid-esque tabs of black acid to anyone dumb enough to stick out their tongue.
Porn star and hooker Devon James and high-end prostitute Loredana Jolie (no relation to Angelina except in general decrepitness) have been trying to sell their stories but with less than any amount of success or credibility. For once, Tiger’s in the right.
James tried a hare-brained attempt at a money grab by selling a fake Tiger Woods sex tape. She even paid some chump to have sex with her while she filmed it and screamed Tiger’s name. Now she’s threatening to sue the guy for outing her as a liar and fraud.
James is the same woman who falsely claimed she had Tiger’s love child/love cub but – WHOOPSIE! – it wasn’t his and she knew it. She was reported to be a pathalogical liar and she’s pretty much proved it.
Strictly as an aside, one of the more humorous moments this year was when James tried to scuttle Woods’s U.S. open by dropping the baby-daddy charges on him the week of the tournament. Woods’s manager, Mark “Steiney” Steinberg was roaming around the media tent for well-respected journalists to write a story for he and Woods debunking James. One response candidly told him that in the current climate, having a big name write a story about that issue might do more harm than good by raising awareness of another ugly incident involving Woods, whatever the truth turned out to be. Steiney went home empty handed on that one. When you plant ice, you harvest wind.
Now we have whore for more than just publicity, Loredana Jolie, who was so enamored that she got in Vanity Fair that she asked, “Are you going to put me on the cover,” has had someone ghost write a tell-all for her.
So far as we can tell, she hasn’t exactly got a lot served up in her dish. The money shot – pardon the precise use of jargon there – is that Tiger likes girl-on-girl. With the salacious things that already arose, that’s not exactly earth shattering or unexpected.
Headline: Tiger likes Girl on Girl!
React: Duh…who doesn’t?
After we got – among a lot more – “Go to the bathroom and take a picture”, “Would you like a golden shower?”, sex with Jungers the night his father died, and 121 women including the helplessly star-struck teen age babysitter, you’d think Jolie could have something with a little more meat on the bone. Hell, if that’s the best she’s got, maybe at $15,000 a night, she’s overpaid.
In short, both of these women are exactly the plastic, money-grubbing dirtbags we expected them to be. So what’s news? Nothing that’s what. Neither of them can be trusted. Today, Tiger’s only sin was to have exposed us to their loathsome presence in the first place.
