“As the most revered athlete of his generation, Woods has been toppled off his pedestal like Saddam Hussein’s statue in Baghdad . He’s become a laughing stock, lampooned on SNL and the subject of a new internet gag every day.” – Hank Gola, New York Daily News
How did it come to this? Tiger Woods was supposed to be bigger than golf. Well therein lies the root of the problem: such an attitude and environment led to hubris, and then when discovered, denial.
Sure Tiger’s collapse makes Icarus’s fall look like a stumble. Even though Americans love a comeback, he’ll need Houdini for a P.R. man as well as several major victories, and several magnanimous acts of philanthropy. There can be recovery down the road, and we should hope for redemption. One lesson we can teach Tiger – a world-class grudge holder – is that one of the best attributes in any person is forgiveness. It’s a good person who lets go of grudges and forgives. But forgiveness in his case is not earned by winning the Masters or Open Championship, and not by crying to Oprah, but in his actions going forward, actions over a long period of time, not his next win on the golf course. Let’s take a look at where Tiger went wrong and how he can make amends.
TIGER’S MISTAKES
First, let’s look at the mistakes Tiger made to get himself into trouble.
1. Cheating on his wife.
You have to know yourself first and foremost, and if he knew that he couldn’t be faithful to Elin, he shouldn’t have gotten married.
“The affairs with the hookers and party girls would have been easier to take if he wasn’t married and selling us an image,” said golf fan Nancy Carpenter. “Once he made those vows, he had to be loyal to her. That’s the number one gripe of any female fan that has lost faith in Tiger. How could he do this to his pretty wife and beautiful kids?”
2. Party Girls, Penthouse Dancers, and Porn Stars.
As author Umberto Eco wrote, “the Devil has no more deadly form than the most exquisite creature,” and the lure of a sexy statuesque, elegant successful woman who is an admirable conversationalist is tough for any man to resist, even the most wary and world-wise. Rachel Uchitel’s looks and savvy are so sublime, she could make a bishop kick a stained-glass window. But therein lies the problem: if a man-eater is too dangerous for your life to handle, don’t get in the cage.
It’s reasonable to assume that once Tiger, who had been remarkably sheltered by his family in many ways, once Tiger got a taste of freedom, and unlimited cash, things might start to devolve. Once he got acclimated to the high-life and the sexy women it brings, it got tougher and tougher to stop.
Also, Tiger was too trusting with the wrong women. Even if Jaimee Grubbs had him fooled into thinking she wasn’t a tramp or a gold-digger at least he should have taken extra precautions in case she turned on him. The text message he left her that was leaked to the press indicates he trusted the wrong woman. He should have been more wary and less naïve to exactly how risky falling in with her, and even more with those who women who make their living in the sex industries, could be. He should not have conned himself into thinking that such women would be loyal to him in the clutch. If self-preservation is an instinct one possesses, one has to choose their companions wisely. One of my friends has a great mantra, “Show me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
3. Paying for Sex.
It makes all the difference in the world if you pick up a woman like those described in tip number 2 of your own prowess with women, as opposed to if you pay for their company. It’s the difference between stud and dud. Paying for an encounter is the polar opposite of being a smooth operator who can woo a woman with who he is, not what he can buy. We respect the guy who can score on his own. We shun the loser who pays as pathetic. Besides, it’s too risky to let such people too close to your life. If they sell themselves for sex, what won’t they do to get their hands on your money?
4. He left a Record
Never leave a record: no texts, no voice mail, no emails. They are all traceable, even if you erase them. All it took was that one voice mail to Grubbs for an empire to come crashing down. Before that revelation, everything was ephemeral and allegation, people still refused to believe it. After that first shred of indisputable proof there was no doubt. Now it’s a hit R&B remix…”Naaaaaaaaaaaame off your phoooooooooooooone…”
5. Having too many panderers and enablers.
No one was there to steer Tiger back from the brink once he started to run out of control. Of course you also have to take the good advice your real friends offer you. When the Doctor says your problems are caused by too much red meat, white bread, martinis and cigarettes, you don’t just say, “then I shall cut out the white bread.”
6. Tiger believed his press clippings.
Tiger has always had a problem with humility. He thought he was indestructible. But the bigger you become, the further you have to fall. As Jerry Garcia sang, “Everything you gather is just more than you can lose.” Here’s a good measuring stick: a truly great woman will never let you think more of yourself than you deserve. Neither will a true and sincere friend.
7. Underestimating a Jealous Woman
Hell hath no fury…and everything started to unravel when certain mistresses got angry. Look at Jamie Jungers: allegedly angry she couldn’t shake down Woods for more than she got. The ones that don’t get a payday and exposure get a pound of flesh.
Now let’s look at the mistakes Tiger made after the affairs were reported.
1. Not having a viable emergency plan in place.
Maybe he thought he had enough money to buy everybody, but with mistresses entering double-digit numbers, didn’t the size of the potential bill scare Woods? Didn’t it cross his mind that someone could squeal? So Plan B was “duck and cover?” Didn’t we learn in the ’50s that it doesn’t alleviate a nuclear bomb to hide under a desk? Even with sticky tape on the windows?
2. Underestimating the Tabloids Tenacity for the Story
Woods should have known exactly how deep he was in right at the get-go since he allegedly had to buy off the tabloids once before when he got caught with Perkins waitress Mindy Lawton back in 2007. This may be the most damning character flaw of Woods prior to his fall: he didn’t learn from his mistakes and repeated them.
Once the Uchitel story broke, he was playing cards, but blind, while the other side, the tabloids, knew all the cards he held. They dealt him a losing hand from the outset and he fell right in with the worst plays. When the tabloids get you, you might want to consider it’s an ambush.
3. Playing the privacy card and sounding unrepentant in the face of how serious this was.
This goes along with underestimating the tabloids and the seriousness of the situation, but also thinking more of himself than he deserves. Everything you gather is more that you can lose.
4. Possibly…lying to his wife not coming clean about its depth in the first place.
If Tiger didn’t tell his wife the full depth of the problem at first, instead only telling her what he was caught doing and what was reported in the tabloids – like he did with the public at large – that’s compounding an already monumental mistake.
5. Not facing his fans and coming clean sooner. Even if his face was mangled, give us an audio tape.
Ordinarily the best thing to do is tell the whole truth. Some people say you can’t clear the road until the avalanche is over, but you can stop the avalanche in the first place by melting the snow…tell everyone everything, take your whooping and take it like a man.
Now there is a Catch-22 here: some of what Tiger may have had to admit may have been criminal behavior. If Elin hit him, Florida law allows for an arrest and prosecution even if the victim spouse remains silent. He has to protect Elin; she’s an innocent victim in this. Also, if he admitted to us about porn stars and prostitutes, he could be opening himself to criminal prosecution. Either way, he simply should have said more than he did sooner than he did. Prepare us for the worst to soften the blow.
HOW TO REPAIR HIS IMAGE GOING FORWARD – Tiger 2.0
With the latest revelations about doctors in trouble and saucy ladies lining up to have their fifteen minutes, Tiger will never be the same.
He must limit the damage and try to put it in the past as quickly as possible. So…
1. Make a public appearance at a press conference and be honest, humble, and contrite.
2. Makes jokes about it. Laugh it off, like Boy George did. The first thing Boy George did when he came back from getting busted for sex in a bathroom was to do a hilarious send up of the whole thing in an MTV video.
3. Change from the reckless, selfish, narcissistic person he was before this incident. In order to gain sponsors, he’ll actually have to become Tiger the Brand – the wholesome, squeaky-clean, noble person he claimed all this time – for real. It’ll be quite the change, and it may prove hard for him. No more parties, no more girls, no more reckless freedom. Tiger better understand, the veil of secrecy will be much harder to maintain now that he has a target on his back drawn by every tabloid in the world looking after his every step. Don’t make the old rock lyric, “This time will be different, till I do it again,” turn out to be true:
4. And when Woods returns, things must be different:
a. No more throwing clubs,
b. No more F-bombs. The swearing has gotten so out of control, women and kids are having to move away from him, even on the practice range at Augusta National. That’s how considerate Tiger Woods is.
c. No more special treatment like going out to play when he chooses. Tiger, you do what the Tour tells you, when they tell you. You’ve lost all your mega-star privileges because you were such a colossal embarrassment when left to your own devices.
d. No more treating him, or anyone else, like they are bigger than the game. Now he is 1 out of 156.
For a while at least, Tiger’s image, already on life support, will further dwindle. Worse still, each sexual revelation from this conga-line of women reads so salaciously, so seedy, so grotesque, that Woods has made himself a punching bag for the ages. This stain might never leave him and, sadly, the Tour is suffered some collateral damage. Already Accenture has expressed its anger to Tim Finchem that they invested heavily in Woods and – because of the impression TV has sold – they think a Tour without Woods is worth much less.
Tim Finchem should never have diminished the rest of the Tour and its players to make Woods bigger than the game. The Tour needs to immediately start P.R. campaign that their excellent product is in no way diminished because there are still 155 other magicians in Polo and Dockers.
Nevertheless, Woods’s comeback will be a long road. He may not get back everything that has fallen apart; he can try to put back all the pieces but there is no way they’ll fit the same.
Moreover, all eyes will be on him when he returns, so we’ll have a first hand look at what he’s rehabilitated. The first and most important question anyone can ask him when we do see him is, “What have you learned from all this?”
