Top 10 Things Not to say to ESPN’s Michael Collins in a Pro-Am

http://jayflemma.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/collins.jpgTop 10 Things Not to say to ESPN’s Michael Collins in a Pro-Am

CAPTION CONTEST – I’LL GO FIRST. “THE CLEVELAND BROWNS DEFENSE FINALLY SACKED SOMEONE THIS SEASON. [Photo courtesy of Michael Collins.]

Having been, at various times, both the celebrity in the pro am as well as a player, I can attest to the bedlam, mayhem, and chaos a pro am round can devolve to. I once watched a guy playing in a pro-am in Jamaica smack a stone tee marker in front of him, (a giant tiki…decorative and festive, but bad idea for a tee marker) and had the ball catapult into the jungle behind him like a gunshot.

“Dude, he could have killed somebody!” moaned our shell-shocked pro who shall remain nameless.

Anyway, this week it was ESPN’s Michael Collins’s turn, at Torrey Pines no less. He’s had a banner week so far: DJ kissed his bald head, Tiger gave him putting pointers, and judging from te picture above, Fowler’s about to turn San Diego into Baker’s Bay. So in the spirit of good-natured ribbing, from the home office in San Diego, here’s

Top 10 Questions not to ask Michael Collins in the Pro-Am

10. Which hip are you having replaced?

9. Is that a 9-wood?

8. Oh you’re from Florida? Have you played The Villages?

7. What are you gong to do now that your stool softeners are on the banned substances list?

6. What-a-burger or Sonic?

5. Are you Michael Wilbon?

4. And the baby comes out where?

3. Does it hurt to swing like that?

2. Mike, what do I do? My wife threw my s@#t out on the lawn…

1. DO! YOU! HAVE! EXTRA! BATTERIES! FOR! YOUR! HEARING AAAAAAAID!

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Jay Flemma