FRONT ROYAL, VA – The hot season had arrived in Virginia, thick and cloying. With every breath, heavy vapors weighed down the lungs, every step felt like wading in a bowl of soup, and gnats swirled thickly. Huge dragonflies droned and murmured ominously in the marshland grasses over the back nine of Blue Ridge Shadows Golf Club.
Small clusters of yellowjackets buzzed angrily near the clubhouse, but not as much as the Virginia players. There was bad news for their Potomac Cup golf team. Maryland’s player-captain, Vance Welch, had just shot a blistering 65 in the practice round, including a smooth, 6-under 30 on the back nine.
He also set the course record.
“That’s what he does,” said tournament founder and Fox Sports Broadcaster Steve Czaban, in awe of the accomplishment. “That’s why he’s called Bagger Vance. He may take over this Cup and make it all his own. He has stepped up to take the Maryland Captaincy upon his shoulders and the team looks to be melding in his image.”
“He beat Mark Vandegrift and I on his own ball,” moaned a shell-shocked Frank Romano. Welch had single-handedly trounced Virginia’s number 1 and 3 player combined in the record-setting performance.
Things looked bad for Virginia, and the starter’s pistol hadn’t even sounded, but that beat-down was about to feel like a Swedish message compared to what Welch and the Maryland team had in store once the competition started. Maryland powered to a 10-1/2 to 1-1/2 lead after the first day of doubles play, including opening with a shocking 6-0 skunking of Virginia in the morning foursomes.
“We’re dead,” groused self-appointed Virginia assistant captain Dan Derisio, shaking his head and looking like a deer in headlights. Indeed it looks that way on paper. The top seven players in the field are from Maryland, and they boast nine of the top 10. Even phlegmatic Ross McIntosh, playing in his fourth Cup, mischievously quipped, “can we change this to a net event?” at the pairings draw Thursday night. He knew Virginia had their work cut out for them beforehand, but nobody expected a 6-0 drubbing out of the gate. Maryland eventually surged to 9-0 before Derisio and Romano teamed for Virginia’s only win of the day.
The Morning Massacre
Things started badly for Virginia when three players missed team photo and the National Anthem. Fed up with that inexcusable insult to the rest of the team, two veterans took it upon themselves to try to fire up the squad on their own. Second year players Steve “The Thing” Nolin and Mark Waslo called a players meeting on the 15th tee to show unity and desire: “bring ’em together,” as they say in the NFL. The gesture could have worked; the team seemed excited again.
Then Frank Romano missed his tee time and got penalized one hole.
“How did he miss his tee time? He was on the range!” roared one furious Virginia teammate. Easy: he refused to go to the tee box, even though the rules official gave him warnings at 15, 10, and 5 minutes. He even gave Romano and Vandegrift an extra warning, as in, “Frank you tee off in four minutes. Drop what you’re doing, and leave now.” But Romano couldn’t be bothered, so when he got to the first tee, Virginia Captain Czaban slapped him with a 1-hole penalty.
“I told them last night in the team meeting,” he admitted, “don’t miss your tee time, because I will not care about your excuse.”
Steve “The Thing” Nolin had a more ominous reaction. “It really is Clobberin’ Time!” the ex-wrestler growled darkly, his narrowed eyes glowering menacingly.
Things devolved from there. Welch picked up where he left off, teaming with Mike Wah for a breezy 6&4 win over Virginia rookies Karl Keiffer and Steve Ciliberti. Leading by example, Welch has talked the talk and then walked the walked. In the pre-tournament team meeting, he not only predicted a victory, but promised a personal revenge for any Maryland player who had a grudge. “If anybody wants a piece of someone, just let me know,” he told the squad. Several players took him up on his offer, and got satisfaction.
Welch wasn’t the only Maryland player rounding into form. Lee Flemister not only looked laser-perfect in practice yesterday over the target-tight back nine, he is singularly focused on winning and sending a message of dominance. He and Jeff Lim-Sharpe were predicted by the media to have a huge advantage on the back nine over Virginia rookies Robb and Tom Lantz, who have only seen the supermodel thin inward side once: Thursday. Team Red’s experience paid off as they swept holes five straight holes, 10-14, and coasted to a 4&2 win.
The “Killer Bees,” as Team Maryland’s Breton Bay boys are known, were next to sting. First Pete DeTemple and Bill Jenner rallied late to upend Virginia’s international pairing: Zimbabwean Ross McIntosh and Iranian Mark Fegani. They won the last two holes to turn a 1-down deficit to a 1-up win. Then fellow Breton Bay buddies Brent Martin and Greg “Cookie Monster” Roberts dispatched Romano and Vandegrift 2&1.
As an aside, what is it about the characters we get in this tournament? We have Captain Caveman (That’s long-maned Jeff Lin-Sharpe, a doppleganger for Johnny Damon), The Thing, and the Cookie Monster playing. What? They couldn’t find Count Chocula somewhere?
Anyway, perhaps the most astonishing contribution has come from the youngest competitor in Potomac Cup history: Maryland junior golfer Keegan Boone. The 15 year-old Gonzaga High School sensation paired with Maryland Number 1 player Rusty Pies for a 1-up victory over one of Virginia’s premier parings, Nolin and Waslo.
“The kid stepped up and calmly rolled in a 3-foot birdie putt on 18 to secure his first point and a win for Maryland,” said Czaban. Boone was an alternate who made it into the field when long-time Cupper Dave Amsellum lost a member of his extended family.
“I’m really excited to represent Maryland in this tournament that has seen so many great players. I’m overwhelmed at the chance to play for my state. This is the most exciting tournament I’ll play in all year,” he said, showing remarkable poise in his first media center interview.
“He’s terrific,” said Thing. “He has a great swing and he really worked well with his partners, especially Mike Wah in the afternoon. That kid’s gonna have a great career.”
Thing should know; the Kid beat him twice. Keegan was silky-smooth staring down fierce competitors and seasoned veterans much more mature than he. “My nerves don’t get me that bad, but I took a deep breath on the first tee today,” he said. “But then I just played my game over the 18 holes: you know, I just golfed my ball.”
Golf your ball: that was also advice Welch gave the team. “If we can do that, we can set a record for the largest margin of victory in Cup history.” He was referring to 2007, when Virginia won 25-15 at Nemacolin Woodlands, but that record is seriously in jeopardy. Maryland led 9-0 after the Killer Bees stung again. This time, DeTemple and Lampard beat Waslo and Lantz 1-up, and Brent Martin and Bill Jenner wallpapered the hotel with Chris Huemmer and Ross McIntosh 5&4. They lined them up perfectly vertically, matching up all the stripes neatly, ceiling to floor, and smoothing all the lumps. Nobody does that any more, not even the real class decorators.
Keegan the Kid won again, this time with Wah and yes, Welch cruised to victory as well. This time he and Jeff Lim-Sharpe beat Virginia’s “Marky Mark” pairing of Mark Vandegrift and Mark Waslo. Welch’s lifetime Cup record is a sparkling 19-4-3. Only Frank Romano has played in as many Cups, and he’s merely 11-10-5.
The 10.5-1.5 drubbing is not only a first day record, but Maryland threatens to win the Cup tomorrow. “We played flatly after we got a big lead,” said Welch. “We were trying to be gentlemanly and sporting, and had it on cruise control, but we can’t afford such mental lapses. We need to set a new goal: winning the cup on Saturday and winning by the largest margin of victory. We could lay an egg tomorrow and get beat 8-4, and they are right back in it. So we have to go out and play. Let’s see if we can hang 30 points on these guys by the time the singles are over.”
If that doesn’t wake up Virginia with a thunderclap, nothing will. Those guys have a lot of heart and pride, despite what the scoreboard may show. Outmanned, outgunned, and outplayed, at least Nolin and Waslo are sending the message to the rest of their team that they won’t be outclassed. They have tried to rally the troops at every turn. I can root for gamers like them and Vandegrift and their rookies all day long. They don’t have any quit in them. They’ll fight to the last match.
“Moreover, this is match play on a very penal golf course,” explained Maryland’s Lee Flemister. “There is Alternate shot, where weird things happen, and the back nine here has so much trouble, you have to tip-toe around in places. This place is a relentless test of your golf game. We’ll need to be tough and focused all weekend.”
Still, Maryland is firing on all cylinders, while Virginia is sputtering. Welch and Keegan the Kid have been a two-man wrecking crew. Welch looks ready to go out and play tonight with rake and an easter egg, and and a lantern for light if they’d let him. The scuttlebutt coming into the tournament was that he hadn’t won a Most Outstanding Player Award in five years, so maybe he was due. And when he got named player-captain, that’s when he found an extra gear.
After all, there is one absolute truth at the Potomac Cup: the team that takes it more seriously wins.
Meanwhile, at least Virginia got wasted before they got pasted. As if on cue, Derisio – who combined with Huemmer is 2-9-1 in the Potomac Cup since 2007 – sneers at me from across the bar.
“You wanna red bull and vodka, bitch?” he snarls acidly.
No thanks, Deriz, I’ll pass. But it looks like you got a good thing going there.
The drink I mean, not the score.
