“Who needs Johnny Depp? I’ve got Jay Flemma!” shouted the leggy firecracker of an actress as she put her arms around me at Temple Bar. The rest of the cast and crew roared with approval.
Boy if only Britt Bonsoliel were around to hear that!
Well for four days, I’ll get to play Johnny Depp, with Tony Korologos of Hooked on Golf as my Benicio Del Toro as we head down to Dorado Beach for the grand re-opening of the famous East Course at the Dorado Beach Resort.
“YES!” screamed Korologos as he started doing a happy dance with his lovely wife Ali across their sun-drenched kitchen. “Thank you, Ninja, you are my Stone Cold Elf!”
Okay, maybe the quote was somewhat different, after all there was static on the line, but that was unmistakeably the sentiment. We’ve rocked the house in Colorado for Flemmapalooza, we dominated the landscape for “Gilligan’s Island with Dinosaurs” in New Mexico, now it’s time for beaches, palm trees, tall drinks with rum – which turns even the finest gentlemen into complete scoundrels – golf, golf, golf, and sunshine all day.
By the way – it’s Bacardi only – as one of my dearest friends in life is Rafi Cabrera, the Bacardi scion, friends don’t let friends slum when selecting a beverage. But back to live action…
Robert Trent Jones, Jr. – Bob to his friends – renovated the East Course with Bruce Charlton and the rest of the RTJ2 design team, and we’ll be reviewing the course, as well as getting insights from Bob and Bruce and the rest of the cast of characters who’ll be waiting for you in the Caribbean, where palm trees dip and sea gulls swerve.
According to the club, “original panoramic site lines of the Atlantic Ocean have been restored on 15 of 18 holes through an aggressive tree management program. Native Puerto Rican sand harvested from surrounding beaches highlights the newly renovated and contoured bunker complexes….A course layout that now stretches over 7200 yards, is as formidable from the championship tees as it is forgiving from the forward tee.”
Those of you that played the famous Links LS PC video game will remember Dorado Beach (East) as one of the courses featured in an expansion pack. It wass a fun ride through the palm trees on the game, but we’ll see if the tree removal also improved airspace to play the game. We’ll also examine the bunkering, new strategic ideas off the tee, and some insights from the architects as to why they did what they did.
So get psyched, the most badass double-team in sports writing is back to beguile and bedevil, bewitch and bemuse, way more than Beyonce and Beiber. I’ll take my ugly shirt and lure you in like a bullfighter, Tony will HOG-tie you, and we’ll all share pina coladas with Bruce Charlton, Jones, Simon Landon and the rest of the crew.
So for next weekend, I’m rock, Tony’s roll, and you get to live vicariously. So when you’re done cleaning up the leaves, putting out the Halloween candy, and sewing the kids’ costumes (I hear Hobbits are in this year) tune in for the fun here and at Hooked on Golf. We’re back and we’re on tour once again! And I promise, next pic, I’ll be the one wearing black:)
