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Week 9 NFL Picks – Jay’s Plays

SQUEAKERS SURVIVED CANCER AND CRAZY AGATHA! SHE FILLS IN FOR ERNESTO THIS WEEK.
SQUEAKERS SURVIVED CANCER AND CRAZY AGATHA! SHE FILLS IN FOR ERNESTO THIS WEEK.

Ernesto the Prediction Iguana went a dismal 3-3 last week, 1-2 in teasers, dropping the season totals to a mediocre 7-8 in teasers, 20-10 overall. Who knew the Steelers would turn into a football team after those miserable losses to Cleveland, Baltimore, and Tampa? Thanks Packers for not covering, (for the first time this year with us anyway). And the normally useless Redskins finally won over what were the high-flying Cowboys.

As such, Ernesto is off on his yearly vacation, (which he hasn’t earned this year, but he’s off anyway…), so the cats are left to fill in for a few weeks. Squeakers takes her turn this weekend. When not hiding under the bed because her owner, Crazy Agatha, is a drunken mess half the time, she likes playing Kitty Soccer, eating tuna, and hunting mice. She also successfully recovered from cancer surgery as well, so well done Squeakers!

She says:

OVER EASY!

PATRIOTS-broncos OVER 38
DOLPHINS-chargers OVER 38

The Pats or Broncos should score that much themselves. Meanwhile, it’s nice to see Miami and San Diego playing well and offering us something besides the usual AFC suspects. With the NFL average at 43 PPG, these two should have no problem hitting 38.

TAKE THE POINTS!

NINERS -1.5 vs. rams
eagles +8.5 at TEXANS

The Eagles will BEAT the Texans straight up, so take the bloated 8.5. The Rams are an ATM machine in reverse.

raiders +22 at SEAHAWKS
STEELERS-ravens OVER 38

“What? Squeakers is playing OAKLAND???!!! She’s nuttier than Crazy Agatha!” you say? No…Squeakers is taking the 22 points. We have a rule here at AWITP: if you get 20 points, you take it. We’ve lost only one play in three years taking 20 or more. Though Oakland is winless, they only lost one game this season by 20 or more. As for Pittsburgh and Baltimore, those two defenses are former shells of themselves. And Pittsburgh can’t stop anyone.